There is a LOT of advice out there on the topic of
budgeting for your wedding. And unfortunately? Most of it is not that great. In
my opinion, the hardest thing about budgeting for a wedding is that most people
only plan a wedding once — and until you start nailing down specifics and
requesting quotes from vendors and venues, it’s nearly impossible to know how
much YOU might spend for YOUR wedding under YOUR unique set of circumstances.
Weddings are not easy to generalize! That being said, there are some universal
tips that I’d love to pass along!
1. Start saving early. This might be my single best tip,
especially if (like me) you tend to have “champagne tastes on a beer budget.”
Even if you might not know exactly how much your wedding will cost, it’s a
pretty good bet that it will be expensive. Like all expensive things, the
sooner you start saving, the smaller the amount per month you need to save, and
therefore the less painful it will be. If you know you’re going to want some of
those amazing extras that a parent might not be as willing to splurge on, like
videography, I’d highly recommend this tip!
2. Set your budget. Thankfully, even though it’s nearly
impossible to know how much the wedding in your head will cost before getting
engaged and talking to vendors, it’s still possible to set your budget, because
your budget should be based on the amount of money you have, not the amount of
money you want to spend. In addition to tallying whatever you and your fiancé
will contribute, check in with both sets of parents (if they haven’t made the
first move). I would recommend going into the conversation with a grateful
heart and without expectations, and being thankful for any contribution they
might want to make.
3. Prioritize your budget. Once you’ve determined the
pool of money available to spend, it’s time to begin slicing it up. Start to
talk with your fiancé about what’s most important to you both, and start to
reach out to vendors and venues with whom you’re interested in working. As
quotes come in, you’ll start to see how your money might need to be allocated.
Side Note: Wedding quotes can be eye-popping and
confusing at first, if you plan to have a wedding coordinator, let them help
you through the confusion.
4. Set up good relationships with vendors from the start.
Keep in mind that most vendors like to work with nice, calm couples who respect
their work and want to collaborate with them in the creative process. Tell them
about what you have planned for your wedding and why you’re excited about it;
tell them why you love their work. Vendors tend to go above and beyond for
clients they genuinely like and who are appreciative of them — it’s just human
nature.
5. Negotiate with care. A photographer might be willing
to take 10% off his package price under certain circumstances, but please don’t
expect a discount — they’ve set their prices with careful thought. Instead, if
the price quoted is beyond your budget, see if you can subtract something from
what he’s presenting — an album, hours of coverage, number of prints — for a
lower price. A florist should be able to work with you on what flowers are in
season and which blooms will have the most impact per dollar. I’ve even known
some vendors who love to travel waive their travel fees for certain locations
that they’ve always wanted to visit — if you’re getting married in a
particularly stunning location, it might be worth a shot! As I said above, just
remember to go in with a grateful heart and without expectations or a bossy
attitude.
One more tip: if you have the luxury of a long
engagement, you might be able to book vendors like photographers or
videographers at, say, their 2013 prices even though your wedding is in 2014.
6. If necessary, cut based on your priorities. I hate
blanket suggestions on what to cut from the budget, because those decisions
should be based solely on what’s most important to y’all as a couple. That being said, a few ideas to get your
wheels turning: skip ceremony flowers (choose a beautiful location instead);
skip favors unless you can think of something that’s truly meaningful to you as
a couple; buy a pre-loved gown or sell yours post-wedding; borrow a car from a
friend or just ride in yours instead of renting a limo or vintage car; skip a
reply card and have guests email their RSVPs; order a simple cake design and
crown it with a gorgeous topper (bonus points if it’s a family heirloom!).
7. Consider alcohol. Though alcohol can be a big expense
for a wedding, there are actually many ways to cut its cost. A few suggestions:
cut the champagne toast; offer a limited bar (beer and wine) all night, or
offer a limited bar at cocktail hour then open it up to a full bar at the
reception or inquire about purchasing your own alcohol (especially if you have
somewhere you can get a discount). Also, don’t assume that either paying by
consumption or paying a per-person price is cheaper — here, it really helps to
know your audience.
8. Supplement your professionals. While some things
should ALWAYS be left to professionals, I think there are some amazing ways to
cut costs while working hand-in-hand with the pros you’ve hired! For example, a
recent client chose to provide the centerpiece containers and ribbon to her
florist, knowing she’d be charged a mark-up for those items. As long as the professionals you are working with
are ok with this type of saving, it’s a great way to help save your pennies.
9. Borrow! Not everything has to be bought new (or even
old) for your wedding! Borrowed pieces can lend a beautiful air of family and
heritage to your wedding day, and, in my experience, guests love having a hand
in the magic! I’m considering borrowing my clutch, my bracelet, my earrings,
easels from my artist friend, pillows and blankets for our lounge area, a cake
stand, and probably many other things I can’t remember. Replacing expense with
meaning = always a win in my book.
10. Share! Know someone else getting married close to
your date? If you do, you can purchase several things to use at both weddings.
You’ll be able to share some bulk supplies (like out-of-town bags) and
therefore get a lower cost. I’ve heard amazing stories of brides getting
married on the same weekend at a venue using the same tent draping, for
instance, or the same arbor for their ceremony. See if your venue will put you
in touch with your fellow brides, or put out feelers on social media or through
friends of friends to see who you might be able to connect with! I love this
idea!
11. Take care of your guests. We like details as much as
y’all, but at some point (especially when you’re on a limited budget), it’s
time to stop worrying about what your wedding will look like in photos, and
start thinking about how it will FEEL to you and your guests. Sometimes, $15
worth of bug spray at a cocktail hour can be worth more than all the fancy
linens and candles in the world. People will remember when you made them feel
comfortable and included and welcomed, and they will also remember when they
had to wait in a line or ate cold food or trek a mile to the bathroom because
you didn’t want to pay for a port-a-potty. They will almost certainly forgive
you for those things, because they are your dearest friends and family and they
love you, but wouldn’t it be better to avoid them altogether? In my book, gracious
hospitality is always a budget “do.”
12. Remember it’s not the only party you’ll throw in your
lifetime. As I am planning with clients, every so often they’ll see an idea
that they really, really want to include… except that it doesn’t fit in their
budget, or it didn’t fit with the aesthetic of the day. Whenever this happens,
I sit them down and issue a reminder: this party will not be the last one you
would throw in your lifetime. It might be the biggest, and it might be the most
expensive, but you have years of dinner parties, birthday parties, and anniversary
parties ahead, and there will more than likely be a place to incorporate this
idea of the day into one of those future bashes. This almost always talks
clients down from the ledge :)
I’ll leave you with perhaps my favorite way to sum up
wedding budgeting: it’s possible to have a wedding on any budget, but it’s not
possible to have any wedding on any budget. Your wedding will be gorgeous and
meaningful and memorable because you two are at the center of it — blissfully
happy and in love — no matter how much you spend or don’t spend. Years from
now, that love and happiness is what you and your guests will remember above
all else. Happy planning!
